To die in Iraq…By Mélida Arredondo

May PEACE be inside ALL of us ~ for the sake of my children, for all the children. Be thankful for what you have for Melida and Carlos who no longer have....like so many.
Cindy


To all - I wrote this because I am not angry at either Kerry or Obama for their statements that so many have made an issue out of. I hope that they continue to speak the truth and not cow-tow to the pressures of politics. I am angrier at those who choose to use Alex's death as a reason for further killing...MA

To die in Iraq…By Mélida Arredondo

It is trite, but I realize that life is a day to day passage through time and space…Physically, time has made my body grow fruitful and able to bring forth new life…Then my Alex was shot in the head by a sniper. His blood splattered Marine Mike who stayed with him, holding him until he could be evacuated. Alex’s eyes remained open. He died instantly. His helmet filled with his blood.

When my grandfather died, I took comfort in having shared this time and space with him…He lived a long fruitful life to the age of 92…When Alex was killed, I felt cheated…Numb, overwhelmed and lost…I wished to negotiate with God, the Marines, someone. Spontaneously, my mind kept thinking: “This is wrong? This is an error? It should have been me? Why didn’t I stop him? Why did I stay quiet?” I knew the consequences. I live with this knowledge of my weakness and inability to speak up and get in arguments with other families members and Alex over his choice. Those arguments may have kept him from dying.

Calls come in the middle of the night and I imagine Alex’s voice on the other line gently saying, “Hi, howsitgoin?” So Boston with his slight inflection and the choice of his words…I’ve stared at Brian and my husband so much, I see Alex. I get confused and wonder as I age, if I will keep calling for Alex as my Mother does for me. When my husband is gentle and calm, I feel Alex in him. When my husband hugs me hard with both his arms, an echo in my chest bubbles inside me remembering my eldest. Some are afraid of forgetting. I know I never will.

Our family has been cheated out of seeing him marry, go to college, get a degree, become a father, move into his own place, own a car, get a job, lose his baby fat, find a wrinkle or gray hair, become a husband…Alex will not visit his father and I as we age. We’ve been cheated out of visits, holidays and grandchildren, Alex’s kids who would climb trees, fences or poles like nobodies business. Able to leap far and jump high. Able to stop the tears or hurt from just about anyone and make a joke out of nothing seem hilarious. Sassy mouthed, too handsome for his own good, spontaneous, Alex.

He chose the military like so many men and women do – to have opportunities. Some call the military "volunteer". To these individuals, please look up the word “volunteer” in the dictionary. A true volunteer does not have incentives offered to them to participate. Alex did choose the military out of a sense of adventure, AND he did not want to burden our family by having us pay for college via loans or working extra hours. Alex wanted to spread his wings. So he did. He flew to Iraq like an eagle in search of freedom. The eagle was shot down. The sniper who was also killed shot him. The fact that he and his men had no ammunition to defend themselves laid the trap. The fact that many of the fallen died due to poor planning, unknown and controversial reasons for war and multiple deployments all laid the foundation for sacrificing the blood of our children without a true reason.

I am not angry with politicians for speaking the truth. Alex and many did not have the opportunity for a good education because schools have been gutted, crowded or devoid of sufficient teachers. Remaining in Iraq only gives truth to the troops dying in vain – there is no end in sight.

This is the very definition of “vain” – the lack of success or result. It is blasphemous and manipulative to state that the troops died as a means of encouraging more blood shed and that by stopping the blood shed proves that their deaths has had no value. The families, friends and comrades in arms know that there is value in Alex’s death. We feel and live it every day. Causing others to have to suffer as I do over losing Lcpl. Alexander Scott Arredondo at war only puts salt in my wounds and it does not bring Alex back. All those who love him want peace in order to stop crying over the further deaths that bring rise to memories and our own pain.