Support the troops? 200,000 Veterans sleep on the streets

My family has a hard time keeping up with being homeowners. We have to make 10k a year just to pay or homeowners taxes and insurance. I've had several people tell me they pay 15k a year just in taxes alone. If we fall behind, our house is taken away from us. These kids today don't have a chance to have what we have acheived in our life time so they join the military. The military doesn't take care of them when their in service, they sure as hell aren't going to take care of them when their done with their service.
Why would anyone want to join the military? It destroys your life when you have a president that just doesn't care about you, about your life.

May PEACE be inside ALL of us,
Cindy


Vets on the Street

Hundreds of U.S. soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan are ending up homeless. How could this happen?

By Sarah Childress / Newsweek

Feb. 24, 2007 - Kevin Felty came back from Iraq in 2003 with nowhere to stay, and not enough money to rent an apartment. He and his wife of four years moved in with his sister in Florida, but the couple quickly overstayed their welcome. Jobless and wrestling with what he later learned was posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), Felty suddenly found himself scrambling to find a place for himself and his wife, who was six-months pregnant. They found their way to a shelter for homeless veterans, which supported his wife during her pregnancy and helped Felty get counseling and find a job. A year later, he's finally thinking his future. "I don't want to say this is exactly where I want to be—it's really not," he says. "But it's what I can get at the moment."

Young, alienated and often living on their own for the first time, Iraq and Afghanistan veterans increasingly are coming home to find that they don't have one. Already, nearly 200,000 veterans—many from the Vietnam War—sleep on the streets every night, according to the Department of Veterans Affairs. But young warriors just back from the Mideast—estimated around 500 to 1,000—are beginning to struggle with homelessness too. Drinking or using drugs to cope with PTSD, they can lose their job and the support of family and friends, and start a downward spiral to the streets. Their tough military mentality can make them less likely to seek help. Advocates say it can take five to eight years for a veteran to exhaust their financial resources and housing options, so they expect the number to rise exponentially in a few years. "Rather than wait for the tsunami, we should be doing something now," says Cheryl Beversdorf, president of the National Coalition for Homeless Veterans.

The problem is mainly a lack of resources, advocates say. There are only about 15,000 beds available in VA-funded shelters or hospitals nationwide, and nearly every one is taken. In some smaller cities there simply aren't many places for a homeless veteran to go. And as affordable housing units shrink nationwide, veterans living on a disability check of, say, $700 a month, (which means a 50-percent disability rating from the VA), are hard-pressed to find a place to live. Most shelters require veterans to participate in a rehabilitation program, but a "fair amount" of veterans just go back to the streets once they leave, says Ed Quill, director of external affairs at Volunteers of America, the nonprofit housing group for veterans that helped Felty.

Two homeless vets share their stories in the dorm at New Directions in L.A. The VA says it's making a concerted effort to reach out to vets before they hit bottom, says Pete Dougherty, the VA's coordinator for homeless programs. Intake counselors are trained to ask questions, especially of newer veterans, to seek out mental health or other problems that could lead to homelessness. "We're much more sensitive than we were 40 years ago for signs of problems," he says. And they have expanded some services. Last week, the VA approved $24 million to boost aid for the homeless, which will allow them to add about 1,000 more beds and increase the number of grants to help the growing population of homeless women veterans and those with mental illnesses.

Much of the work with new veterans is being done one soldier at a time. At New Directions in Los Angeles, a center that rehabilitates homeless veterans, Anthony Belcher, a formerly homeless Vietnam vet who now works at the center, looks out for one particular Iraq veteran who shows up at the center about once a month, filthy, drugged out and tortured by PTSD. "He's a baby," Belcher says. "You can see it in his eyes." So far, the young vet is too wary to accept more than a night's bed or a hot meal. But as Belcher says, at least he has a place to go. That's more than many of the thousands of vets on America’s streets can say tonight

What divides us and why we will stay divided

Last week, helicopters were a buzz around my house here in Hollywood. For hours they were hovering around the hospital a few blocks away from where I live. It took a while but then I heard the news, Anna Nicole had died at the Hard Rock. I had to go to work that evening and drove past the hospital. I couldn't believe how many news trucks were parked on Johnson Street.

Ya know what? I don't care. I tell my children all the time-you do good, you get good. You do bad, you get bad. Meaning the choices you make through life will either bring you happiness or they could bring a whole lot of stuff you don't want. Anna did not make good choices in her life - all her life. I'm not surprised what happened to her. What I am surprised by is the media...The circus media. Why do we let them do this to us? With all the crap going on today and this is their choice to use our airways bring us the news of a messed up person ending her life. I care about all the people dying in Iraq, not his person, this one person. Show me again the plane we were told about on 9/11. Where is that plane?

This kind of media produces people who don't care. They pimp their facade of the war of what the president does or doesn't do. They fill time with useless information. Some people on the other side of the divide believe what is being pimped to them. Lets take for instant this person:

City Council joins with Sheehan, Fonda

The politically motivated City Council finally joined the likes of Jane Fonda and Cindy Sheehan siding with America's enemies, because they believe war is taking too much money from their liberal programs ("City Council to voice opposition to war," Feb. 13).

We should support our men and women who have volunteered to put their lives on the line to fight the war on terror. Let's rely on military leaders to decide what it takes to bring this war to a successful conclusion, rather than a bunch of amateurs. The council's actions do nothing but give aid and comfort to and embolden the enemy, and demoralize the troops. People voting for this kooky resolution will have blood of our military on their hands.

I often think about and wonder how many of those killed in my unit would be alive today, if America had supported the war in Vietnam instead of the enemy. Some things are far worse than war and City Council doesn't have a clue what it is. I hope David Crowley's and Mark Mallory's trip to Washington to provide anti-war support to our enemy was paid for by personal funds, rather than the taxpayer.

Arthur Smith, Loveland

I shake my head and think we have to live with people like this. At least there aren't many of them that think this way. First of all, why all the name calling- and who made liberal a bad name? Fonda and Sheehan do not side with this persons enemies. The actions of the past administrations have sided more with their enemy then these two people. Who sells this persons enemies the bombs that blow up our military? Rumsfeld maybe?

You know if Alex Arredondo only had more bullets, had the same helmets our police use at the peace rallies maybe he would still be alive today. So much death because the choices people make...The bad choices people make. Choices that have reactions to us all.

We SHOULD SUPPORT our all volunteer military by stop killing them. Stop doing stupid things with their life for the love of money and power. Both wars the person speaks of were wrong wars. Both wars they used fear to control people like Mr Smith. There is no war on terror just like there is no war on drugs. This is something that is pimped by the media to control people like this. "Some things are far worse than war and City Council doesn't have a clue what it is." Said Mr Smith. He lives in fear that exist in his brain while the real person who can do some damage to him is the people in power who make really bad choices. The people who have blood on their hands are those who use the military to invade another country when they, themselves won't go to a wrong war of their time. The people who support "the decider" have the blood on their hands, not the people trying to save military lives by bringing them home from a place they should have never been sent in the first place

You do good, you get good. You do bad, you get bad. Your actions have reactions on yourself and others. Whats your choice on how to be in this life?

May peace be inside all of us,
Cindy

To die in Iraq…By Mélida Arredondo

May PEACE be inside ALL of us ~ for the sake of my children, for all the children. Be thankful for what you have for Melida and Carlos who no longer have....like so many.
Cindy


To all - I wrote this because I am not angry at either Kerry or Obama for their statements that so many have made an issue out of. I hope that they continue to speak the truth and not cow-tow to the pressures of politics. I am angrier at those who choose to use Alex's death as a reason for further killing...MA

To die in Iraq…By Mélida Arredondo

It is trite, but I realize that life is a day to day passage through time and space…Physically, time has made my body grow fruitful and able to bring forth new life…Then my Alex was shot in the head by a sniper. His blood splattered Marine Mike who stayed with him, holding him until he could be evacuated. Alex’s eyes remained open. He died instantly. His helmet filled with his blood.

When my grandfather died, I took comfort in having shared this time and space with him…He lived a long fruitful life to the age of 92…When Alex was killed, I felt cheated…Numb, overwhelmed and lost…I wished to negotiate with God, the Marines, someone. Spontaneously, my mind kept thinking: “This is wrong? This is an error? It should have been me? Why didn’t I stop him? Why did I stay quiet?” I knew the consequences. I live with this knowledge of my weakness and inability to speak up and get in arguments with other families members and Alex over his choice. Those arguments may have kept him from dying.

Calls come in the middle of the night and I imagine Alex’s voice on the other line gently saying, “Hi, howsitgoin?” So Boston with his slight inflection and the choice of his words…I’ve stared at Brian and my husband so much, I see Alex. I get confused and wonder as I age, if I will keep calling for Alex as my Mother does for me. When my husband is gentle and calm, I feel Alex in him. When my husband hugs me hard with both his arms, an echo in my chest bubbles inside me remembering my eldest. Some are afraid of forgetting. I know I never will.

Our family has been cheated out of seeing him marry, go to college, get a degree, become a father, move into his own place, own a car, get a job, lose his baby fat, find a wrinkle or gray hair, become a husband…Alex will not visit his father and I as we age. We’ve been cheated out of visits, holidays and grandchildren, Alex’s kids who would climb trees, fences or poles like nobodies business. Able to leap far and jump high. Able to stop the tears or hurt from just about anyone and make a joke out of nothing seem hilarious. Sassy mouthed, too handsome for his own good, spontaneous, Alex.

He chose the military like so many men and women do – to have opportunities. Some call the military "volunteer". To these individuals, please look up the word “volunteer” in the dictionary. A true volunteer does not have incentives offered to them to participate. Alex did choose the military out of a sense of adventure, AND he did not want to burden our family by having us pay for college via loans or working extra hours. Alex wanted to spread his wings. So he did. He flew to Iraq like an eagle in search of freedom. The eagle was shot down. The sniper who was also killed shot him. The fact that he and his men had no ammunition to defend themselves laid the trap. The fact that many of the fallen died due to poor planning, unknown and controversial reasons for war and multiple deployments all laid the foundation for sacrificing the blood of our children without a true reason.

I am not angry with politicians for speaking the truth. Alex and many did not have the opportunity for a good education because schools have been gutted, crowded or devoid of sufficient teachers. Remaining in Iraq only gives truth to the troops dying in vain – there is no end in sight.

This is the very definition of “vain” – the lack of success or result. It is blasphemous and manipulative to state that the troops died as a means of encouraging more blood shed and that by stopping the blood shed proves that their deaths has had no value. The families, friends and comrades in arms know that there is value in Alex’s death. We feel and live it every day. Causing others to have to suffer as I do over losing Lcpl. Alexander Scott Arredondo at war only puts salt in my wounds and it does not bring Alex back. All those who love him want peace in order to stop crying over the further deaths that bring rise to memories and our own pain.

Carlos Arredondo goes to Fort Lewis to support Watada

Watada court-martial under way

FORT LEWIS, Wash. - With dozens of observers lining the military court's steps, criminal proceedings against Lt. Ehren Watada got underway Monday morning. Watada faces a general court martial for refusing to go to Iraq, because he says the war's illegal. It's a claim supported by many of those who came to watch.

"We think it's an illegal immoral for the reasons that are obvious to everyone else here," said Watada supporter, Robert Archer.

Inside the courtroom where no cameras are allowed, things started slowly. Most of the morning was spent on preliminary motions, which included Watada stipulating to many of the facts in the case.

Video

Selection of Watada military panel begins at Fort Lewis

Supporters, opponents express their opinions

Actor Sean Penn among Watada supporters

Among other things, Watada agreed he made a recording released June 7. He also stipulated that he refused to deploy because he thought the war was illegal.

"I must, as an officer of honor and integrity, refuse that order," he said in the video.

But the defense plan has never been to deny the facts. Instead, Watada's attorney wants to explain why Watada's actions might be legal. However, that strategy took a serious blow as things grew tense between the judge, Lt. Colonel John Head, and the defense.

Head started by telling defense attorney Eric Seitz to: "leave your courtroom dramatics at the door."

Later, Seitz grew upset because the judge prevented certain jury selection questions. Seitz blasted the judge, saying: "This is flatly wrong ... I have a right under the manual and the constitution ... we're wasting our time in this courtroom ....you have tied our hands. It's judicial misconduct."

That sentiment is shared by Watada's supporters.

"It seems at this point Lt Watada has no right to his defense, to present witnesses. He has no rights," said Linda Newton.

Actor and war critic Sean Penn was among those who stood on a Dupont overpass trying to send a message.

"I'm just here to stand among the other supporters of Lt. Watada ..." he said. "This is a decision of conscience."

Carlos Arrendondo, whose son was killed in Iraq, was there too.

"I'm here to support Lt. Watada because if he was my son's commander, perhaps my son would be alive to support Mr. Watada," he said.

Several of Watada's supporters came early to show their support.

"Lt. Watada is the one that's finally stood up because the president didn't stand up," said Kathleen Jennings.

"He's refused to do something he truly believes is illegal," said Kate Grutz.

Another vocal group was on hand to also make a point.

"Be even better at the end of the week when that weasel Watada is thrown in prison," said Jeff Brigham.

Brigham and others want Watada locked up for his act of defiance.

"Because he disobeyed a legal order," said Brigham.

"What would happen to our military if they didn't go to this war, or that country?" said Shelley Weber.

Although opinions differ on whether Watada made the right or wrong decision, both sides of this debate seem to agree on one thing: Lt. Ehren Watada will most likely head to prison.

"Definitely ... he swore an oath to obey order of the commander in chief, and the officers appointed over him," said Brigham.

"I would presume a conviction," said Penn. "We hope they're as reasonable as possible in terms of the time they give him and then we intend to continue support following that."

Watada is charged with missing a troop movement last June and two counts of conduct unbecoming an officer for his public comments against the war.

Watada says the war is illegal and he has an obligation to refuse unlawful orders. A military judge has already ruled Watada can't base his defense on the war's legality.

If convicted, he would face up to four years in prison.

'I Went to Pieces' ...by Melida Arredondo

From my friend Melida...
Mel, This is good! It's a must read! Thank You

May PEACE be inside ALL of us,
Cindy


Speech: Scituate Citizens for Peace Concert at
Old Ship Unitarian Parish Hall, 107 Main Street, Hingham, MA
A Fundraiser for MFSO

Melida Arredondo is the stepmother of Alex Arredondo, Killed in Iraq August 25, 2004

My family's involvement in this war began the day that Alex signed up at the age of 17 to serve as a Marine. 9/11 had not happened yet since it was August 2001. As Alex left for boot camp, we were drafted too. Alex wrote many letters. I can still hear his voice when I read them. There are two particular letters that I recall due to both their innocence and predictions.

One he wrote midway through boot camp. In it he asks for his Dad and me to send him information on the Middle East. It's September of 2002 when he wrote. "Please send information about Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq. We get very little amounts of info down here. But I have heard some little things here and there about conflicts, war, deployments, etc. Thanx...Love you Alex..."

The next letter is from January 19, 2003 written on a ship on the way to Kuwait. He would enter Iraq in the first wave. Alex hadn't traveled much as a child. He remarked that, "This seems so unreal to me. I've never seen water this Blue before, I've never looked 360 degrees around me and seen nothing but water ... clouds, the sun and a fleet of battleships surrounding me." He goes on to write "This is hard for me to comprehend. It seems like my whole life changed in an instant. Yesterday, I was in a classroom learning about Trigonometry and History...Now I'm being sent across the world to fight, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, on my way to experience 1st hand what I am learning about. I am not afraid of dying. I am more afraid of what will happen to all the ones that I love if something happens to me."

With the certainty of war looming at the beginning of 2003, my family was split apart at the seams. My husband was visiting our family in Costa Rica. He flew back on the first day of the war, and I was unsure if he would even be allowed back into the country. Brian and I would spend time together often. He and I would talk about how nervous he was about Alex's going into battle. I remember that his hands were always sweating due to nervousness.

Alex returned home to Boston September of 2003 after serving nine full months in the Middle East. He surprised us all one day by showing up to our home in Roslindale without notice. I was so happy; I was crying, laughing and definitely going to faint. Alex caught me in a big bear hug and lifted me up off the ground. I was truly left speechless.

I thought the nightmare was over. Christmas of 2003 was a happy one. Brian, Alex, Alex's girlfriend Sheila, my husband and I ate turkey and exchanged gifts. On my right hand, I wear that last Christmas gift that Alex gave me: a ring that says "Amor" or love in Spanish.

On January 3, 2004, Brian, Carlos and I took Alex to the airport to head back to Pendleton. It was the last time that his father and I would see him alive again. Though there were so many phone calls, when Alex came home to Boston in May of 2004, we were en route to Hollywood, Florida. The family had decided that relocation was a good idea. The boys' Mom had already relocated to Maine the year before. Alex liked the idea since his buddies Crespo and Garza were from the same area of Florida. He hoped to visit during those days on leave so he could see us and hang out with his Marine brothers. There was too little time and he never made it.

On August 25, 2004, I woke to get ready for work as usual and had heard that three Marines had been killed in Najaf. I turned off the radio and opted not to tell Carlos the news since it was his birthday. I prayed for Alex and set about my day.

When Carlos called me that afternoon at work, I went to pieces. It took all of my will to drive home. As I turned onto my street, I saw a fire. I was perplexed and realized that the fire was in front of my house. There was a man, obviously burnt with a Marine sitting on his back holding him down with a shirt covering his face. It was Carlos. Soon, helicopters were overhead and reporters were hounding us. My Mother-in-law and I went to the ER to be with Carlos and then to the Ryder Trauma Center in Miami where we stayed most of that night.

The next morning, a car came to pick me up, and I appeared on Good Morning America providing them an update as to my husband's condition. The last thing that Charlie Gibson allowed me to say before they cut me off was that "This war has got to stop."

We traveled to Boston by air with a paramedic at Carlos' side. He attended Alex's wake, the funeral mass, and traveled to the gravesite on a stretcher with two paramedics, a catheter in place, and in extreme physical pain. We rode in an ambulance instead of a black limousine.

The realities of war for all Gold Star families DEFINITELY DO NOT END the day that you lay that family member to rest.

Though a sniper shot the bullet that killed Alex, the true assassins are the ones who are recklessly sending our young men and women into battle in vehicles left over from the Korean War, without body armor and without sufficient ammunition or food. This past New Year's Eve, the Marine who was with Alex when he was killed communicated with me. He told me that he held Alex in his arms as the blood bled out of the helmet. He told me that Alex died with his green eyes open. He shared with me that the troops who had cleared all four floors of that hotel in Najaf ran out of ammunition. After three hours of battle, Alex and the Marines were on the roof of the hotel with no bullets to defend themselves when Alex was shot squarely in the left temple.

Some reporters have asked what I would say to the president if I had the chance? Honestly, I have no interest in meeting the commander in chief who has taken the presidency of my country hostage. My husband and I have much more interest in speaking directly to the citizens and residents of the USA so that we can share about Alex's life and his death. We want the public to share our grief and aid us in changing the direction of this country so that the war ends.

At 2:30 pm today, 3095 troops had been reported as US fatalities in Iraq. As a member of Military Families Speak Out, I know the parents of other troops who have come home. Many destroyed resulting in their taking their own lives.

1. 23-year-old SPC Jason Cooper from Iowa came home from Iraq in 2005. He hung himself four months later.

2. 23-year-old Thomas J. Sweet II from North Dakota took his life in 2003 while serving in Iraq. He was promoted to Sergeant posthumously.

3. Massachusetts native Jeffrey Michael Lucey on June 22, 2004 hanged himself in the basement of his Belchertown home.

I add 3 to the total of those troops reported by the Department of Defense. As I meet the families of other troops who have taken their lives, my count increases.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. In order to continue living (and there are days I don't want too), I push myself to do more of this work. I have a full time job at a clinic, and I dedicate 35 hours weekly minimum working towards ending the war. Then, I am wife, stepmother, daughter, dog owner and just me.

My husband has begun his own Share the Grief Tour by displaying a flag draped coffin to his pick-up truck and hitting the highway. Within the past ten days, he has toured Philadelphia, Washington DC and New York City. He's the only man I know who is happy on the highway in traffic jams.

The Luceys have dedicated themselves to fighting the archaic laws of the military and the Veteran's administration so that those troops who make it home intact physically will also have a means to treat what's left of their sanity. Their story is featured in, "The Ground Truth", a film I recommend you should see.

I know of other activists who raise money through bake sales to buy body armor for the troops, another dedicates her time to freeway blogging – or putting up highly visible signs in places that are hard to take down, and of course, there is that famous lady who decided to Camp Out in the ditch in front of W's house.

There's a saying that idle hands are the work of the devil. The values of this country are mythic legend at this point when elections are tampered with, the results of elections are dismissed, and wiretapping and acceptable torture is acceptable. This administration is promulgating the rape of democracy. I say, apathy is no longer an option.

A week ago today, I was one of the 1/2 million people who protested for peace in DC. At this hour, I sat in a room with two-dozen men and women who had lost their kids or spouses in Iraq. There, we did our planning to keep other military families from joining our club.

I speak for many when I say that I am sick and tired of war! Everyday it's in the news! The casualty-count goes higher and higher. Yet, in the midst of this never-ending tragedy of Alex's death, I see a rainbow or full moon and remember his smile. I have met the troops and love them whether they are gung ho for it or protesting the war. I selfishly ask for a hug when I can so I can remember Alex's own warmth.

Other military and gold star families are sick and tired of having the president say that if "the US pulls out, then the fallen troops would have died in vain." Bush-shit! My stepson, Alex Arredondo, went back on his second tour despite wanting to stay home. Why? Because he wanted to protect his brothers in arms so they could come home too! Alex is dead physically but his spirit of self-sacrifice to honor and aid others lives on. Why? Because Alex was born and bred in the USA and these values are what we learn as Americans. You never leave your buddies behind!

Bring them home now; take care of them when they get here and never, ever let this happen again!

(video) Carlos Arredondo Speaks to the Masses in DC 1/27/2007

Carlos Arredondo Visits Time Square To Share Alex with NY

My friend Carlos is making his way back home from the DC protest last week. He decided to spend some time in Time Square. This is great! I'm so happy Carlos is sharing Alex with even more people.

May PEACE be inside ALL of us,
Cindy

Grieving dad takes war protest to Times Square

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A grieving father took his personal protest against the Iraq war to Times Square on Wednesday -- a pick-up truck carrying an empty flag-draped coffin and a picture of his son's open casket and funeral.

Carlos Arredondo, 46, said he has traveled the United States for more than 18 months in what he calls a tour of "public mourning" to honor his 20-year-old son Alexander who was killed fighting insurgents in Iraq on August 25, 2004.

"I feel better by making my mourning public, my statement public," Arredondo said. "People complain (to the police) because the message is powerful. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, but I'm sorry -- that's what's going on."

Next to the coffin is a pair of the dead soldier's army boots and his identification tags, while taped to the outside of the truck is a letter written by Arredondo's son from Iraq. Also on display is his uniform and medals.

"I'm not here to preach, but the message is clear. My family has already paid the ultimate sacrifice. We have already been in Iraq long enough," said Arredondo, who moved to America from Costa Rica in 1980 and became a U.S. citizen last month.

Arredondo arrived in Times Square late on Tuesday and spent a below freezing night sleeping in his truck. Although he has parked in a no standing zone, Arredondo said New York police were allowing him to stay until Thursday.

"This war shouldn't be happening, they should have ended this a long time ago," said Felix Barbosa, 40, a building manager from Brooklyn who stopped to look at Arredondo's protest. "This makes me sad, it hurts just looking at it."

More than 3,000 U.S. soldiers have been killed in Iraq since the U.S.-led invasion in March 2003, along with tens of thousands of Iraqi civilians.

********************************************

A Father With a Coffin, Telling of War’s Grim Toll

By Trymaine Lee / New York Times

Carlos Arredondo leaned toward the coffin in the back of his pickup truck yesterday and renewed a promise to his dead son, one that he has kept for more than two years.

In a whisper, he vowed never to let his son’s death be forgotten. He closed his eyes and slid his right hand across the American flag stretched over the coffin, his fingertips tumbling over each of its faded red stripes.

“This is my whole world,” he said, facing the truck, his arms open wide. “This is my burden.”

Mr. Arredondo, 46, stood on West 43rd Street in Times Square, shivering in the morning chill. His son, Lance Cpl. Alexander S. Arredondo, 20, was a marine killed in Iraq in 2004 while fighting in Najaf.

Passers-by slowed or stopped to view Mr. Arredondo’s mobile memorial: the coffin, filled with his son’s prized possessions, and the green Nissan truck, each side adorned with poster-size photos of the young marine. Some pictures show him smiling, his teeth bright white. Others show a machine-gun-toting warrior in battle gear. Another shows him lying dead at his funeral.

The display is sad, personal and emotionally jarring. But this is how Mr. Arredondo honors and mourns his son, who was a fire team leader in Battalion Landing Team 1/4, 11th Marine Expeditionary Unit (Special Operations Capable), First Marine Expeditionary Force. This is how Mr. Arredondo heals.

“As long as there are marines fighting and dying in Iraq, I’m going to share my mourning with the American people,” he said.

Mr. Arredondo, who lives in Boston, travels the country putting his sorrow on display. He accepts donations along the way. The coffin he takes with him holds some of his son’s things: a soccer ball, a pair of his favorite shoes, a Winnie the Pooh. He also shows people his son’s boots, uniform and dog tags.

Healing has been long and slow. First there was denial and self-destruction.

It all began on Aug. 25, 2004, Mr. Arredondo said, his 44th birthday. A government van eased in front of his home, then in Hollywood, Fla., and three Marine officers in dress blues stepped out.

At first Mr. Arredondo thought it was his son making a surprise birthday visit. Instead, the officers told him that his son had been killed in a hail of gunfire after being trapped in a four-story hotel that his platoon had been clearing. They were surrounded by enemy fighters. It was his son’s second tour of duty in Iraq.

“I just screamed,” he said. “I said ‘No, no! It can’t be my son.’ ”

Mr. Arredondo said he “lost it.” He ran to his garage and grabbed a gallon of gasoline and a propane torch.

He took a sledgehammer and smashed the government van’s windshield and hopped inside. As the officers tried to calm him, Mr. Arredondo doused himself and the van with gasoline and lit the torch.

There was an explosion, and the officers dragged Mr. Arredondo to safety. He suffered second- and third-degree burns over 20 percent of his body.

“I went to my son’s funeral on a stretcher,” he said.

After nearly 10 months of healing, including several in the hospital, Mr. Arredondo became a full-time war protester, quitting work as a handyman to remind people across the country of the human price of war.

His son was posthumously awarded a Purple Heart. But no commendation will fill the void he left behind, Mr. Arredondo said.

“Every day we have G.I.’s being killed, and people don’t really care enough or do enough to protest about how the war is going,” Mr. Arredondo said yesterday. “Some people say I’m dishonoring my son by doing this, but this is my pain, my loss.”