Tuesday, January 24, 2012

When both your children die because of war

I haven't written on the blog for a long time. War is hell! And to the military families it's worse then hell.
Brian, Alex brother killed himself on December 19, 2011. The loss of Alex was too much. The troops were coming but not Alex because he was KIA in 2004. It doesn't matter how much time has passes the loss was too much for Brian.

Sweet boys in heaven playing together again. May both Alex and Brian RIP. I pray for the people they left behind who love them so much. I don't know how they're hearts will ever recover from this. Please Dear God wrap their hearts with love until they can be with Alex and Brian again....

Brian Arredondo, 24; troubled by brother’s death, father’s trauma
Alex (above left) and Brian Arredondo in 2003. At top right, Victoria Foley with sons Brian (right) and Nathan in 2003. Bottom right: Brian greeted a Marine following funeral services for his older brother Alex, who died in Iraq, in September 2004.
Alex (above left) and Brian Arredondo in 2003. At top right, Victoria Foley with sons Brian (right) and Nathan in 2003. Bottom right: Brian greeted a Marine following funeral services for his older brother Alex, who died in Iraq, in September 2004.

Bryan Marquard, Globe Staff / Jan 23, 2012 05:17 AM

Brian Arredondo was 17 and living with his mother in Maine in August 2004 when he looked outside and saw two Marines approach the front door. They wouldn’t say why they wanted to speak with his mother, who wasn’t there, but he knew.

“When I came home, Brian came out to the driveway,’’ said his mother, Victoria Foley. “He said, ‘I’m sorry Mom.’ He just kept saying, ‘I’m sorry.’ ’’

Parked around the corner, the Marines returned to say her oldest son, Alex, a Marine lance corporal, had been killed in Iraq. The phone rang with an emotional, agitated call from the boys’ father, Carlos Arredondo, who lived in Florida. Then another call: Turn on the TV.

They watched coverage of Carlos, who took gasoline, a propane tank, and a lighting device into a Marine Corps van outside his house. The van began to burn, and though Carlos said later it was an accident, not a suicide attempt, the flames seared about a quarter of his body.

“Brian said, ‘Oh my God, what happens if my father dies?’ It was a double whammy for him,’’ Foley said. “We were standing outside that afternoon and he said, ‘I just want to die. How can I live?’ ’’

He was 24 when he took his life Dec. 19, in a small building on the property of his mother’s Norwood home, his family said.

Life offered an abundance of sadness and turmoil since the day he learned that his brother was dead and, within minutes, that his father was inside a burning van.

Brian Arredondo had dropped out of high school when his brother first went to Iraq. After a sniper killed Alex, Brian worked occasionally as a custodian and for a florist. Everyone knew he struggled.

“I used to say, ‘Brian, I see through that smile. People don’t understand what’s going on with you with that smile,’ ’’ said his stepmother, Melida Arredondo of Roslindale. “That smile could hide a lot.’’

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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Father Loses Second Son

Carlos Arredondo lost one of his two sons in Iraq. Twenty-year-old Marine Lance Cpl. Alexander Arredondo was killed in Najaf in 2004.

Now his other son, Brian Arredondo, is also gone. Brian apparently committed suicide on Monday. He was 24.

When the Marines came to Arredondo’s home in 2004 to deliver the news about Alexander, he became so distraught that he poured gasoline in the Marine vehicle and set it and himself on fire. The Marines who had come to his home saved him. Carlos called them his “angels in camouflage.”

In the years since, Carlos and his wife Melida became very visible advocates for military families in the Boston area. Carlos, so familiar for his pickup truck with a flag-draped coffin in the bed, representing his son’s.

In memory of Alexander Arredondo, who was killed in Iraq in 2004. (Anna Miller/Here & Now)

In memory of Alexander Arredondo, who was killed in Iraq in 2004. (Anna Miller/Here & Now)

The last time I saw them was Memorial Day weekend. They had come to the Massachusetts National Cemetery in Bourne to help another Massachusetts family mourn its own loss. Paul Monti of Raynham, Massachusetts had gathered thousands of volunteers to put flags on all the veterans’ graves there, including his son’s. Jared Monti was killed in Afghanistan and was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor. Carlos and Melida came to help and brought Alexander’s boots and a photo of him, and propped them up against a tree in the cemetery.

Carlos Arredondo was on Here and Now in 2007. He was a native of Costa Rica and he had finally become an American citizen, with the help of the late Sen. Edward Kennedy.

When he did that, he had his named legally changed. “I changed my name after my first born Alexander and my second born Brian,” he told Here & Now‘s Robin Young. “So my name now is Alexander Brian Arredondo. And for me to honor my boys with their own names is wonderful.”

A candlelight vigil will be held for Brian at First Church in Jamaica Plain, Mass. Tuesday night.

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Brian Luis Arredondo

ARREDONDO, Brian Luis December, 19, 2011, age 24. Loving son of Victoria Foley of Norwood, MA, Alexander Brian (aka Carlos) Arredondo of Roslindale, and stepson of Melida Arredondo, also of Roslindale. Brother of the late Lcpl. Alexander Scott Arredondo of Randolph. Brother of Nathaniel Foley of Norwood, MA. Grandson of the late John C. Foley (former U.S. Marine), the late Nancy R. Foley of Jamaica Plain, Luz Marina Redondo of Costa Rica, and the late Carlos Luis Quiros of Costa Rica. He is also lovingly remembered by numerous aunts, uncles, and cousins. A wake will be held at the Mann and Rodgers Funeral Home, 44 Perkins St., (corner of So. Huntington Ave.), JAMAICA PLAIN, on Tuesday, Dec. 27th, 4-9 PM. A Funeral Mass will held at St. Thomas Aquinas Church, 90 South St., Jamaica Plain, at 10 AM on Wednesday, Dec. 28th, followed immediately by a procession and interment at Rural Cemetery at Pemberton and North Street in Walpole, MA. Brian will be laid to rest next to his brother, Alexander. In lieu of flowers, the family asks consideration for a donation to aid with funeral expenses.



Donations may be sent to the Brian Arredondo Memorial Fund, c/o The Cooperative Bank, 40 Belgrade Ave., Roslindale, MA 02131.